Don’t want to die, just don’t really want to exist, either. Want to sleep, can’t sleep. Could drug into sleep but that would make it worse later. No food in the house, no ability to leave the house. Stuck. Mired. Physical problems going unaddressed, probably getting worse. Afraid to find out. Typing it out because that’s all I can do. More later, maybe. Sharing out of vanity, but hopefully someone is helped by seeing they’re not alone. Best I can do right now.